Now all I need is a good screenwriter

Coming to theaters near you, Memorial Day 2010: A guy is teaching school in drag (no, I haven't quite figured out why yet). But he's not the only one with a secret. One of his students is actually a spy who's posing as a high-schooler. She's working with two other agents posing as her parents. The "family" of spies (working for the good guys, of course) recruits the drag queen teacher to help them on a mission. Very Mrs. Doubtfire meets True Lies, with a splash of Victor, Victoria thrown in (when they recruit him, they don't realize he's a guy). I've even got a one-liner on the evils of prematurely washing color-treated hair: "No American soldier has ever benefited in combat from washing his hair more often." I see Nathan Lane in the lead role.

The big question: Is this inspired by Shakespeare, or should I not have eaten Sonic last night?